I started Dancewalking in 2009 as a self-dare. I dared myself to show no restraint, to let my body move when my favorite songs came on during my park walks in San Diego. Now this park I used to tread is not some small neighborhood hidden gem. I’m talking about Balboa Park, America's largest urban cultural park and a regular stop on the tourist circuit. If I was going to be dancing while I walked my regular route it would mean dancing over bridges, through crowded promenades and at stoplights full of eyes, stares, double takes and the most terrifying of all: other people’s judgments.

Nobody told me to dare myself so why would I inflict what seemed like a cruel sorority hazing game on myself? The reasons go back far but I’ll make it brief. Steadily, through childhood, into now I grew up into an independent, tall, brick house of a Black woman. Didn’t ask for it. Just happened. In my mid-20’s I found myself staring in the mirror at the antithesis of what a woman of worth was “supposed to look like.” Given my state, American society all but demands you shrink back, shut your mouth and try to remain as invisible as possible. “How dare you be all kinds of wrong AND have the audacity to appear happy and confident despite it?!” Subconsciously, I was terrified of being publicly shut down or outcast and I tap danced (metaphorically, unfortunately, not physically) to be accepted, maybe even tolerated. I felt like I had to be extra nice, extra accommodating, I was always paying off some deficit with my energy. This survival strategy of appeasing, fading and accepting less space than others, was at the root of my mother’s lessons on how to carry oneself socially, especially in a brown body. It was all speak quietly, walk lightly, demur, placate, reduce and if possible, disappear.  

My mother grew up in 1970’s East LA which had been systemically/systematically crafted into an often violent and seemingly hopeless neighborhood for BIPOC people.  Unresolved trauma and fear sparked “White Flight” as inner city neighborhoods started to become diverse and a utopian experiment cropped up south in the once pastoral orchards of Orange County.  They hacked up the abandoned neighborhoods with massive freeways that made life in the new suburbs convenient while at the same time robbing my mother’s neighborhood of its beauty, ease, opportunity and value. The gentrification/ghettoization playbook continues to this day. For my mom, diminishing herself meant survival  and for a while this survival tactic seemed to work as she was a respected school teacher with a Bachelor's degree. Internally though, my mothers trauma response of turning out her lights manifested in disease. Lupus, an autoimmune disease that affects BIPOC women at higher rates, and the heavy handed treatment of it, eroded her body and she became a statistic when she died in the summer after my high school graduation.

I’ve bitterly chewed on the irony that auto-immune disease, where basically your cells turn on themselves, was mirroring my Mother’s deep seeded feeling that she was not worthy of the life she was given. 

This voice saying “You’re not fit to be here, there’s no place for you’”? I’ve decided to turn the dial way low on that one. I don’t buy it. It’s a voice that’s not interested in thriving and when my Mom passed away I felt the torch of healing being passed toward me. Worthiness is  just one of the many energies in my ancestral makeup that I’ve discovered and like all of them, it can be healed, renewed, energized and reflowed. I don’t think I even realized this in the first few years of dancewalking but I was resetting, I was doing right by my lineages and healing something. It was and continues to be this safe haven where I feel I can show up and own it when my spirit wants to groove me. It has taken a lot of practice and work to feel worthy but it’s freaking FREEING. The truth is, each and every one of us is worthy of the life we were given, it’s our job to mirror that by showing up in our unique ways. Show up! It was Dancewalking that initiated a journey of piecing myself back together and I intend to relax into  it and marvel as the full picture comes into view.

HOW TO DANCEWALK

Dancewalking is dancing while you're walking if that wasn’t clear. It’s one of those “The Only Rule is: There Are No Rules'' situations. BUT I’m a Virgo Moon so I’m gonna unnecessarily break it down into some fun little steps in hopes it encourages the Dancewalk Curious to get out into the streets!

1. Load a playlist with your Dance Bangers. Let me emphasize YOUR dance favorites. The ones that get you going in the first few seconds, the embarrassing ones, the ones you can drop it low to, the ones you love to sing to. It’s hard enough when you first start Dancewalking so make it easy on yourself with an unapologetic, indulgent and most importantly, hand tailored to your YOUR tastes playlist. The playlist is your guide, see if you can commit to staying present with each song and stay curious about how the rhythm wants to manifest through your body. Go with the flow!

2. Create A Bubble. You might get some stares, waves, car honks or interactions as you dance but it’s best to stay in your bubble, eyes forward, mind connected to the potential interaction between the music and your body. Dancewalking is for you. Turn the dial down on any judgments that crop up, dissolve the idea of an audience. It’s not about who or who isn’t engaging, it’s about authentic expression. You are the master of your bubble, seize the opportunity to transform. You will have lots of moments where you think, “OMG I wonder what people are thinking?!” Fuggedabouit and keep dancewalking.

3. Get creative. As you start building some nerve or  encounter a block you have all to yourself, throw in a few jazzy moves. I love walking backward, adding in grapevines and using my arms when my legs just wanna stroll to the beat.

4. Dress comfortably in clothes that you can raise your arms over your head in, twirl and stretch. Tie your shoes right, I’ve eaten shit more than once. I like to wear sunglasses to enhance my bubble. Be careful of large headphones that can whip off the head.

5. Try It With Cannabis. I’ve had my best dancewalking moments with THC. I find I can charge steeper hills and really take my dance moves to another level. I’ve also had weed laden dancewalks that fill my head with thoughts to the point of getting distracted from the dance. Choose the right strains for the job. CBD has the potential to clear the head and help me get more present. It can also really chill me out, perfect for slower dancewalks or walks where I might want to sing a bit. (I dig the CBD products at Woman-run Society’s Plant)

6. Be Mindful of Your Surroundings: There’s no need for a dancewalk to end in anything but joy. Stay mindful of crosswalks, the flow of traffic and other community members sharing Earth space and getting their slice of authenticity on too. You may intuitively feel the need to pause dancewalking in certain situations, take heed, you’re your best keeper and dancewalking should never feel forced. It will feel more like a dare that energizes you, a calling. 

7. Stay Light, Stay Curious and keep a sense of humor! For crying out loud it’s Dancewalking. It’s wacky, simple and oh so human. Stay present with emotions that surface but don’t attach to them. Trauma and tears may rise to the surface looking for release, let em flow out. Keep returning to the dance. Stay present with your transformation!